Being hands-on is the way to go for new fathers
While traditionally, men have always used an upward moving career trajectory as an indicator of their success, a recent survey of young men in the US and UK has thrown up surprising results. Being hands-on fathers is the new yardstick that men use to measure themselves, the study found.
Products of a generation that grew up with working mothers, they are more likely to support spouses and let them have challenging careers themselves, by helping in child-raising and other household chores.
Banker Saurav N. is an example of this new breed of men. Father to a two-year-old, he says, “Bringing up my daughter is as important to me as my work. Jobs may come and go, but family definitely is my priority.”
With men becoming more engaged in their role as fathers, there has been a change in the idea of the father as simply the breadwinner, says psychologist Manini Iyer. “A few years ago, if a couple divorced, it was rare for the father to be granted sole custody of the children. For a single man to adopt a child was also unthinkable. But there’s been a huge change in terms of the law and people’s mindsets as well. That in itself is an indication that the father’s role in the lives of children is finally getting its due,” she says.
Interestingly, the survey also found that men are gaining more respect at the workplace as they strike a better work-life balance than previous generations of men did. “We have a lot of young dads in our organisation,” says HR professional Aditi Pewekar. “Most of them take time off to be with their children whenever it’s needed and they are high performers at work too,” she notes.
But there are those who think that the survey’s findings don’t say anything new. Shefali Krishnan says, “My father was a hands-on dad back when it wasn’t even fashionable. He’d help pack our lunches, and even cook at times. He read us stories at bedtime and attended all our PTA meetings in school. There always have been men for whom fatherhood has meant more than just paying the bills. It’s just that it’s more prevalent now.”
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