Homosexuality is not in the mind
A distressed parent beseeched me, “Doctor, please counsel my son. He refuses to get married and says he is homosexual.” My advice to the parent was, “He is right. Don’t force your son.” But the parent still did not give up. “Please convert him into a heterosexual. It’s all in the mind. I am sure you can change his mind. What will I tell society? They will not accept us.”
Despite the many concerns, I insisted that nothing could be done. The fact is that homosexuality is not in the mind. Nobody knows what makes a person heterosexual or homosexual. Over the years, four causative theories were proposed — the Genetic Theory, the Hormonal Theory, the Psychoanalytic Theory and the Peer Influence Theory. However, none of these theories were proven conclusively. The fact is that we do not choose our sexual orientation; we are just born a certain way.
Sexuality is not a medical aberration that can be corrected or changed. Medical science has clearly accepted homosexuality as an alternative sexual orientation. The fact that someone who is close to you may be homosexual could shock you at first but acceptance is important. Homophobia stems more from a fear of the unknown rather than from homosexuality.
Many countries have even legalised homosexuality and allow homosexuals to marry. Some countries have decriminalised it as well. Homosexuals are just like everyone else. They are in no way inferior to anyone and they are not freaks or a danger to society. There are many talented and intellectual homosexual people in society. We should accept them as one of us.
A few pointers Accept your children irrespective of their sexual orientation. Be supportive.
Understand that counselling cannot change their sexual orientation.
Seek the guidance of a sexologist for a better understanding of the situation.
The writer is a sexologist. You can mail him at dr.narayana@deccanmail.com.
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