Our country needs its youth to have a mind

Jan 13, 2013 - Anupam Kher

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Ask Anupam

Q. I am going through a very painful situation currently. I love a girl and we were together for two years. But she left me for another guy. I am heartbroken. Now, I want to die. She is my first love and I can’t imagine living without her. What can I do sir? Please help me.
Shailesh (Patna)

A. I understand and respect your feelings. I agree that it can be painful, but I also want you to make the right choices. I’m happy that you wrote to me. My dear, in life, many a times things do not work out. It has happened to me. It has happened to everyone. There are times when someone may find comfort with someone else and it could have been you. I agree you will feel low and bad and unhappy, but you are young and there is a lot more you can do. I also want you to acknowledge and respect her decision and let her go. You have your parents, your friends. You need to work hard, earn money, change your mindset. Our country needs its youth to have a mind, to be decision-makers, to be progressive, happy, respectful and these things in the process are only going to benefit you. Feel bad about it but don’t let it be the only thing you do. Time heals and it goes for all. Being strong, doing the right thing is important.

Q. I am 20 years old. l am in a relationship with a guy who is from a different caste. Our families will not accept our relationship. We are aware that we cannot marry, still we talk for long hours, through the day and night. We can’t even elope and get married because for my partner his parents come first. I cry every time I think about the time we are going to break up.
Anonymous

A. Well, I’m sorry about your dilemma and I’m sorry that you feel low. Relationships can be the best thing that happen to us. However, it’s important to ask yourself questions that set your priorities right. In this world full of insecurity and complexities, both of you can make things easier by just asking your parents and explaining to them how you feel. If you think that they are not going to agree anyway and he does want to respect his parents’ wishes, the right thing and healthy thing to do would be to change your equation — be friends. It will be tough. However, when one gets married it’s important to have a healthy equation even with your own family. We bring children into the world and have an added responsibility to give them warmth, love, security and make good human beings out of them. So, when you think of being married and making a family, if you understand the dynamics of being healthy emotionally and secure in the choices you make, you will make it easier on children.
Seeing the current scenario of our nation, I can’t help but realise more and more that healthy relationships, happiness, security and love is what we need to give our children and teach them to be good human beings. All the best.

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