Khalid Mohamed

o two or three ways about it. You must have been meditating in the Himalayas, luxuriating in a Mumbai ocean resort, or hiding under the Hyderabad boulders, if you didn’t know that yesteryear’s Chandni has made a comeback.

It was comforting to welcome her again with open arms, whether Boney Kapoor likes such terminology or not. Yup, a thousand sighs, they don’t make ‘em like Sridevi anymore.
As responsive to the camera as a child is to a chocolate bar, the 49-year-old actress kept me watching even when the screenplay wasted my time on touristy montage shots of New York. Ahem, been there-seen-that.
Anyway truth be told, many more leading ladies, senior and kinda junior — who have gone under the cracks for voluntary or involuntary reasons — should surely make a comeback. At supersonic speed please. I offer my prime wish-list:
RAAKHEE: She’s 65 and spends much of her time at her poultry farm on the outskirts of Mumbai. Moviedom’s super-stubborn mom, she has awaited for her sons to return from the dead (Karan Arjun), endured beastly torture (Dacait), and survived sandstorms (Soldier). Earlier, on enacting mommy to the older Amitabh Bachchan in Shakti, she had famously punned, “I have become India’s cine ma.” Last heard of she had picked up a National Award for the Bengali film Shubho Mahurat (2003). Not done. Mommy, come home. Please.
REKHA: She’s 58 according to unconfirmed reports and keeps conveying that she’s cool and kicking via photo-sessions, taking to politics like jam to toasts and fetches up at award functions in those auction-worthy Kanjeevarams. But has she acted of late? Unless you count a perishable called Sadiyan. Ewwww. It’s been quite a while since Ma’am Re reminded us that she hasn’t forgotten acting. Or maybe she has.
URMILA MATONDKAR: Just 38 and she’s done the vanishing trick, except for attending Page 30 soirees and yawwwwwn, fashion shows. Last sighted in the company of Sanjay Dutt in something called EMI, and heh heh not to forget Karzzzz in which she was out to destroy Himesh Reshammiya. Even she sounded nasal. A sequel to Rangeela would be her best re-entry point. Lucklessly, Ram Gopal Varma has categorically stated that Rangeela 2 is not possible since he cannot find another ‘dish’ like Urmila. If you ask me, she should produce and act in it herself. If Dia Mirza, the ghastly actress can do it, why not our Urmi?
PREITY ZINTA: At age 37, she’s producing the curiously titled Ishqk in Paris. Tres bon and all that, co-featuring Isabelle Adjani. Do hope and pray, she doesn’t keep harping on the fact that her best friend, Salman Khan, has done a special performance just for her. Eeeeps, Salman bhai’s guest appearances were also sampled in Dhai Akshar Prem Ke, Stumped, Hello and Isi Life Mein. But er... what happened to them?
TABU: Wherever I go, and that’s to quite a few exotic places like the Hebrides islands and Honolulu for strictly holidaying purposes, I’m quizzed, “But where is Taaabu? She should be seen much more often, no?” To that I reply knowledgeably, “Nowhere. She must be at home.” On being prodded further, I disclose that the four-decade old will return with a big bang with Ang Lee’s Life of Pi. But when I sms her, to ask wassup, where u? the text-back after a month or so is, M sleepng zzzzzzz. Can’t deny a gorgeous girl and formidable actress her beauty sleep, can we?
SHILPA SHETTY: She’s 37. Last glimpsed in Metro (the movie, that is), at the IPL cricket matches… on second thoughts, no, no... let her be.