In his latest book titled The Art of Stress-Free Living, new age guru Sri Sri Ravishankar recommends doing something for someone, without expecting anything in return as one of the measures to bust stress. And rightly so, for today most of us are so caught up in the ‘I, me, myself’ syndrome and ‘What’s-in-it-for-me? mindset’ despite the fact that giving has been deeply ingrained into our socio-cultural psyche.
Festival gifting and corporate gifting may have arrived but the spirit seems to be missing. Some of us even dread receiving gifts for fear that we will be saddled with something we don’t like or already have one of, thus failing to appreciate the “thought” behind it all.
At another level, one might ask — why give? Do we give because it comes naturally to us? Is it that we see a need and genuinely want to respond? Do we give to earn brownie points with God? Do we give to make up for our sins? Recently when a politician, who gifted a diamond crown to the Lord of the Seven Hills, was embroiled in a scam, there was a demand by a group of devotees that the gift be returned for it was considered tainted.
So, why do we give? Because our astrologers or soothsayers recommend it or do we give in the hope of receiving more? Do we give to establish our net worth and superiority in the pecking order?
And talking about giving, what do we give? Do we give stuff that we don’t use or for that matter no one else can? How about blood to save a life? Or stem cells? Or organs — our own or those of departed loved ones — corneas, kidneys and so on? Even something as simple as a nice hot meal can strike a chord. Not so long ago our family was travelling down south and returned to Madurai in the dead of night. The coffee shop had closed for the day and we were ravenously hungry after having been on the road for several hours. Literally begging the hotel staff for food, some food, any food, we were delighted when they managed to cobble together some sandwiches for us. When all the shops around were closed and it was difficult even to get a packet of biscuits, the hotel staff gave something that money couldn’t exactly buy. It was a gesture we won’t forget in our lifetime. Such giving results in the feel-good factor. A wave of contentment washes over even the receiver.
But giving does come with some problems. We are afraid to give because often there is no gratitude shown at the end of it. Maybe the recipient forgot to say thank you or behaved as if it was no big deal because he or she didn’t ask for it. Or we were not feted in the way we expected — our names weren’t emblazoned in letters of gold or acknowledged in public on a suitable occasion. Or it was probably a case of haven’t given and got hurt. And as if to answer all one’s doubts about giving, this is what our scriptures say.
The bottom line in giving, according to the Bhagavad Gita, is to expect zero in return. “Charity given out of duty without expectation of return at the proper time and place and to a worthy person is considered to be in the mode of goodness.” One is also cautioned against charity to unworthy persons and reminded to give with a good heart and respect and love for the act to be considered spiritual.
If you are figuring out how much to give, then the Koran has the answer. While the key message is that giving money to the poor is an emblem of Islam, every wealthy adult Muslim is advised to give a percentage of his/her wealth in charity every year and to give without fearing poverty. There is a caveat as well — to not offend the dignity of the poor and make them feel they are needy. Taunting and hurting the recipient is the ultimate sin and can negate all the good.
Lessons from the Bible too echo similar thoughts: “Christian giving is God’s activity of grace” (Cor 8:1) and part of the will of God. A spiritual return is also promised: “Your Father who sees in secret will repay you.” (Matthew 6:2-4). This is also a good time to revisit the Father of the Nation, Mahatma Gandhi who strongly espoused the concept of trusteeship: “Supposing I have come by a fair amount of wealth, either by way of legacy or by means of trade and industry, I must know that all that wealth does not belong to us. What belongs to me is the right to an honourable
livelihood, no better than that enjoyed by a million others. The rest of my wealth belongs to the community and must be used for the welfare of the community.”