For love to grow, be strong within
We lose out on the good things in life not because of the changing winds of fate but because a part of us cannot handle it anymore. Love, wealth, success — these rarely last, usually because we tend to throw it away ourselves. Success can go to your head, intoxicate you, make you feel invulnerable, and that arrogance can lead to errors that spell disaster.
Wealth can generate pride which leads to loss of judgment; you tend to strut like a god on the ramp of fame, do dumb things and find yourself stripped bare of all you once possessed. Only the clever scheming jackals seem to survive, holding many masks to their faces, hiding their wealth in secret caches, playing down their success, pretending to be humble and clean, but even they fall eventually to traps set by society and their own nature.
Unless you fuse wisdom with wealth and sense with success, you will eventually throw it away. And what about love? How safe is your love?
Once a girl and boy say “I love you”, a huge relief spreads into their being. They can now stop feeling insecure and nervous. They can stop their mating dance where they were going all out to impress the other. Girls can start eating properly. Boys can stop admiring themselves on various reflective surfaces. The relationship enters a retentive stage where many other elements surface. Possessive-ness takes control. Like a spider that binds its victim after intoxicating it with a bite, the two lovers tend to bind each other with invisible strands of subtle rules. Now a “his and hers” list of Dos and Don’ts is pulled out and presented.
On top is “Don’t flirt with that girl”, “delete that boy from your FB” and stuff like that. Then the culture crutch is pulled out and the two reveal they were hiding their limp all along. The boy for instance could have pretended to be very liberal when in fact he was an arch-conservative like his father. The girl could have donned the guise of an ultra cool chick when in fact she was (just like her mother!) a complete control freak. All anyone can say is: Best of luck, don’t cry if things turn sour, just pack your bags and keep moving towards greener pastures.
In all this, where did love go? It was taken for granted as a done deal, and allowed to fade into the sunset. Nobody had the maturity to understand that our thoughts can change, attitudes can morph, and cultural views redesign-ed to fit the need of the present. In a tearing hurry to stay in love, they uprooted love out of their very being just as it was about to grow.
This discussion started last week with an enquiry into who is a braveheart. This is where bravehearts come in. She is a girl who has the calm to rewrite her past and flow with the present, he is a dude who has the cool to throw out all that is unnecessary and recreate a new personality. When love meets courage, you become a braveheart. You need that strength to change and grow in love.
A straight question: Where can you find the courage? A straight answer: It all starts with a resonant “yes” from within. Once you ask clearly, you’ll get all the strength you’ll ever need.
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